From New Mum to Cancer Warrior: Alysia North’s Blood Cancer Story

[00:02:36] Kate: Hi, I’m Kate Aiff and welcome to Talking Blood Cancer. We are kicking off a brand new season and I am so glad that you are here with us today. I’m sitting down with Alyssa North, who was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 2022 at just 28 years old. At the time, Alyssa was a brand new mom living in central Queensland, juggling the demands of caring for her infant son while suddenly finding herself on the other side of the healthcare system, moving from healthcare professional to patient.

[00:03:11] In our conversation, Alyssa opens up about the whirlwind of her diagnosis, the challenges of chemotherapy, and the profound impact it had on her sense of independence and identity. She shares honestly about hair loss, the physical changes, and the emotional toll on her family, particularly her husband and her mom, who became essential parts of her support network while she cared for her son.

[00:03:37] Theo, we also talk about one of the hardest decisions Alyssa faced, fertility preservation. With the high likelihood of infertility following treatment, she chose to focus on her recovery for the sake of her family. But nearly two years after finishing chemotherapy, something incredible happened. Alyssa naturally conceived her second child, Charlie, who she calls her a miracle baby.

[00:04:05] It is a story of resilience, hope, and the power of accepting help. Alyssa has some really practical advice for other young people and parents navigating blood cancer, so let’s dive in and listen to her story.

[00:04:20] Kate: Welcome to Talking Blood Cancer. My name is Kate Arkadieff and today I’m here with Alysia, who I’m so blessed to have here with us today. And it is one really exciting story. So as we always do with every each episode, we ask the guest to introduce themselves, let us know who they are, where they’re living in Australia, what were they diagnosed with, and also their age and what also was happening around diagnosis as well. So I’ll hand over to you.

[00:04:46] Alysia: Thank you. My name is Alysia. I’m from Rockhampton in Central Queensland. In 2022, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. At the time I was 28 years old, and I was a first time mom to a little seven month old boy named Theo. And my husband and I were just coming up to our second wedding anniversary, so everything was good until it wasn’t good.

[00:05:10] Kate: Until it wasn’t good. Yeah. And you said you had a little baby. It was, a son, wasn’t it? You said little boy. And what was his name? 

[00:05:16] Alysia: Yeah, he was our first little boy.

[00:05:18] Kate: First little boy. And so what else was happening? I’m guessing you’re in the trenches of motherhood for the first time, a newly married couple. What kind of made you went, ‘Hmm, something’s not quite right’.

[00:05:28] Alysia: Yeah, so I was actually gearing up to head back to work. I’d just found Theo a daycare spot, and I was starting to get out a bit more. It was sort of the tail end of COVID, so everything was closed down at the beginning of 2022, and I’d just put Theo into swimming lessons to try and get a bit of extracurricular before I went back to work. And he’s actually a really chubby baby, and we’d just moved up a swimming lesson. So I was putting him under the water a lot more this particular day. And I’d gotten home in the afternoon and I just was like rubbing my muscles because they were quite sore. And as I was rubbing my neck, I felt this huge lump in my neck and I thought, ‘oh, that doesn’t seem right.’ So I said to my husband, I’m like, ‘can you see something here that this doesn’t feel right?’ And he’s like, ‘holy smokes, that is a huge lump in your neck.’ And I thought, ‘Nah, maybe I’ve just got like swollen muscles or something, I don’t know.’ And it just didn’t go away. I woke up in the morning and it was still there and the location of it was quite alarming because I’m actually a radiographer as well. So I had seen these kind of things happen before and I thought I would be a hypocrite not to get it checked out. So one thing led to the other.

[00:06:34] Kate: Yeah. And then you, did you go to the GP? Is that where you went to?

[00:06:37] Alysia: Yeah, I went to the GP and I just gave them, you know, a background of my history and whatnot. My younger cousin had thyroid cancer, so I think just a ‘be sure situation’. They set me for an ultrasound of my neck and I thought, ‘well, get it done whenever’. I just called up a place I used to work at and they so happened to have an appointment that same day. I went along and had a scan and I was just having a good old chat with the sonographer and I said, can you see anything? And he was like, ‘oh yeah, but I’ll get my pictures checked because I’m still training.’ I thought, you know, ‘Whatever, it’s not gonna be anything too bad.’ I don’t really know what I’m looking at with ultrasounds. I was like, ‘Hmm, all looks the same.’ 

[00:07:13] Kate: Yeah.

[00:07:14] Alysia: And at the end he said, ‘oh, just go and pop it by the doctor so they can check my pictures’. Which is a standard thing if you’re training. So I didn’t think anything of it. And then one of the radiologists, the doctor who reads them, he came in and I thought he was just coming to say hello to me ’cause he hasn’t seen me for a little while. 

[00:07:28] Kate: Oh, so you knew him. 

[00:07:29] Alysia: Yeah, I’d previously worked there a few years beforehand, and I thought he was coming in for a friendly hello, and he came in and he just had the most straight look on his face and he said, ‘Lissy, I don’t like the look of your pictures.’ And then that’s when I just stopped being… joking and be like, ‘oh, something’s going on here.’ And he sat down beside me and he said, ‘We really need to have a further look at this. We’d like to do a CT scan.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, okay. May as well while I’m here.’ Like baby’s being looked after by Alex, my husband. And then he’s writing out the form and he writes out, ‘head, neck, chest, abdo, pelvis, like my whole body.’ And I said to him, ‘My whole body?’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, this doesn’t look good.’ And that’s when I knew I was in some strife because there’s been so many times when I was in the driver’s seat and someone’s had a different procedure and they’ve sent the patient over to us for a whole body scan and they don’t often send a healthy, young female to have that much radiation. So I knew that we were in a bit of trouble at that point for it to all be happening. And I just had a little cry.

[00:08:27] Kate: Yeah.

[00:08:27] Alysia: And then they’re like, ‘We dunno till we know.’ I’m like, ‘You can’t say that to me. I know this is not good.’ Still didn’t know it was gonna be blood cancer at this point. Like I’m thinking, ‘Oh, probably have something else ridiculous going on.’ So yeah, it kind of just went from there. It all happened so quickly from, you know, I went to that doctor that morning and by the afternoon I’m looking at having a full body CT scan.

[00:08:46] Kate: And how did you feel? ‘Cause you are obviously a healthcare professional yourself, so as you say, you know those healthcare professional steps and you’ve no doubt taken people on that journey so many times yourself as that healthcare professional. But what was that moment like when you tipped into the client, the patient of that process.

[00:09:06] Alysia: It was actually quite terrifying because you know, I’ve been a radiographer for maybe eight years before that. So there’s been so many times that I’d seen young people have this exact process happen to them, and they never had a very good outcome, and you just never really think that’s gonna happen to you. So all of a sudden I was the person getting a cannula put in, and I was the person on the table, and it was terrifying. And I was trying to be brave because the people I had worked with were the ones scanning me and this beautiful lady, she was with me the whole time. I used to work with her. She is a tech assistant. She’s the one that put the cannula in and she was just holding my hand and she was like, ‘Lissy, we don’t know till we know.’ And I said, ‘Robin, I know, I know something bad’s going on here.’ And I was trying to be brave, but all that was going through my head was my little baby’s at home. I had a little baby. This can’t happen to me. I have a little baby.

[00:09:56] Kate: Yeah. And it’s so true, isn’t it? And that’s, that is the really cruel thing of blood cancer. Any cancer or really any traumatic event is, is that it doesn’t care where you are at in life, does it? It will just raise its head when it decides to.

[00:10:12] Alysia: Yeah. And the silly thing, not really silly, but the crazy thing is that, a few years prior, my mom had had breast cancer and we’d had a bit of genetic testing and mom and I have the gene for breast cancer. So when this started, I thought, ‘Oh, here she is. She’s caught up with me. It’s time.’ And then all of a sudden it’s something else, completely different. And I was like, ‘Not yet.’ Like I just had a baby. I was going back to work. Everything was as it should be for a young family. And then they go and chuck this at us.

[00:10:39] Kate: Yeah. And then you had the scan, you did that. Were your colleagues able to tell you straight away, or did you then have to go home and wait?

[00:10:47] Alysia: They were doing their normal thing that I would do to everyone else saying, ‘Oh, we can’t say anything.’ And I’m like, ‘Come on people. I work with you.’ but the doctor came back and talked to me and he said, ‘We’ve got a lot of things to look at. I’ll give the GP a call and I’m sure they’ll be in touch with you in the morning.’ So I knew that I wasn’t gonna have to wait long, but obviously all night that night I didn’t sleep. I’m thinking, what’s going on? And then it kind of got a bit worse in the morning. So here I was thinking something is just in my neck. And then I took Theo for a walk in the pram just to try and buy some time until I might have got a phone call. And the particular radiology place, they send through your pictures in an app and the pictures dinged up on my phone saying they’ve been finished before the doctor called me, and then me knowing what I’m looking at, I’ve opened these pictures and there’s all these huge big lymph nodes marked in my neck and my chest, and I had just lost it. I remember calling Alex and I was absolutely hysterical. I’m like, ‘It’s everywhere. Alex. It’s not my neck, it’s my chest as well. Like we are in big trouble’. And he is just like ‘Calm down. Go back upstairs.’ And while I’m like calling him, the doctor’s trying to call me to come in, I’m like, oh, this has just gone from bad to worse.

[00:11:55] Kate: To find out that way, you’re right. That would’ve been so traumatic. And to know what you are looking at with that knowledge as well. Did you know that it was lymphoma? Like I’m guessing, well, I shouldn’t assume, but did you know what lymphoma was? 

[00:12:08] Alysia: Not really that I still at this point was thinking, ‘Oh, I probably have breast cancer or something ridiculous and it spread’. Because I knew that they were lymph nodes that they’d marked, but it didn’t cross my mind about blood cancer and I didn’t feel unwell before then. I obviously didn’t really know the symptoms of blood cancer, so until I went to the doctor and they said, ‘uh, this looks like some sort of lymph node disease and we’re gonna send you to a haematologist.’ I didn’t actually have that thought until they’d said that to me. I knew I was in trouble, but I didn’t know what kind of trouble I was in.

[00:12:39] Kate: And then you’re at the GP you’re a new mom and you’ve got a new Bubba. Were you feeding at that point or did you have to go straight to hospital or was Theo on bottles?

[00:12:47]] Alysia: Theo was on bottles, so we just kind of took him to the GP and Alex met us there and we got results to say ‘It’s probably looking at some sort of blood cancer and I had to go to a haematologist.’ And being in Rockhampton, you can’t get into them straight away. We chose to go privately so that I might be able to get in a bit quicker, and I think I got an appointment a few days later. But those few days waiting were a bit scary because once I got my appointment with the hematologist, he was the one that sent me for a biopsy of my lymph node to confirm what kind of cancer it was, and then it came back quite positive for Hodgkin’s lymphoma. But he wanted to be a hundred percent sure so that I got the right treatment. So I ended up having surgery the next day to remove the lymph node in my neck so they could test it to make sure it was exactly what he thought it was. But until that point, I had not been separated from Theo for more than a couple of hours. And this was supposed to be a day surgery thing. Last minute, like I’d been told the day before. I’d been chucked on the end of a surgery list, and then I’ve gone there I had to get dropped off and COVID swabbed because it’s still COVID time, so I couldn’t take anyone with me. And then they said, ‘You know, it’s a day surgery. They’ll pick you up in the afternoon. So my beautiful mum, she helped us so much. She came and looked after Theo that day, and I remember her and Theo dropped me off in the car park. And then when I woke up later that afternoon, they said it was a bit more involved than it should have been, and we’re gonna keep you overnight.’ And again, I just bawled because I’m like, ‘I haven’t been away from my baby yet.’ And it was kind of a forced separation. I didn’t have a chance to think about it.

[00:14:18] Kate: Yeah, another lack of control that just kept getting ripped away from you. Which is what cancer does, doesn’t it? It constantly takes away…

[00:14:28] Alysia: Yup.

[00:14:28] Kate:  …Your ability to control so many areas of your life, and that being your primal love, your baby. Oh, to Mama Bear yearning for a cub.

[00:14:37] Alysia: Yeah. All I wanted to do was just get out and get him. But that proved a lot more difficult as well, because I had this huge drain in my neck to drain blood away, so I could have barely even hold him. And I was like crying to mum saying, I just wanna give him his bottle because I couldn’t even hold him. And a seven month old’s quite grabby. He wanted to pull on everything.

[00:14:56] Kate: You said he was a big boy. 

[00:114:57] Alysia: He was! She tried to prop him up on me with pillows so I could just give him a bottle because I was like, ‘This is ridiculous. I can’t even be a mum to my baby.’ My mum had to step in and be the mum to look after him.

[00:15:08] Kate: Wow. And how was that for you?

[00:15:10] Alysia: It really sucked. If I’m allowed to say that.

[00:115:13] Kate: You can say that this is your episode. 

[00:15:15] Alysia: But I know that mum would’ve dropped everything and she did. And did everything she could, but at the same time I wanted to do it. I’d always been a person that wanted to do everything myself and I never liked accepting help and all of a sudden I didn’t really have a choice. Like if I didn’t let her look after him, no one was gonna look after him. Alex had to still work ’cause I was at the tail end of maternity leave, so I was getting no pay. So he had to keep working so we could pay our bills. So I just had to let go and accept the help.

[00:15:43] Kate: Surrender it. Yeah. And I wonder too, I hear so many people go, they do struggle to accept the help from people. But you were very forced, I envision. ‘Cause you had a dependent on you. So you are like, if I don’t accept this help, baby Theo won’t get his bottle.

[00:15:59] Alysia: Exactly, and he was just starting to learn to crawl and he was becoming very interactive and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t pick him up. I couldn’t take him outside. We lived in a two story house and everything was just a struggle, so I just had to give in. 

[00:16:14] Kate: Yeah. And he’s a young person. That’s hard. 

[00:16:16] Alysia: Yep. Considering a couple of weeks prior to this all happening, I was taking him for a walk every day in the pram. That was our normal morning thing, and I couldn’t even do that anymore.

[00:16:25] Kate: Well, as you, when you got your results, you were walking him.

[00:16:28] Alysia: Exactly, and that was the last walk we went on until I got better.

[00:16:31] Kate: Wow. And then what happened after that? You had the biopsy, you had your mum and Alex, by your side as well as baby Theo. How long was it after that you got the results of, ‘Yep, this is Hodgkin’s.’

[00:16:43] Alysia: I think it was about a week. And then the haematologist, he’s the most beautiful man ever. He said to me, ‘We really need to start this chemo pretty soon.’ He did give me the option of going to Brisbane and having it down there, or staying in Rocky, and I said I would really like to stay in Rocky just to try and keep some normality to Theo’s life. And I knew my mum and dad were close by, so mum could easily help us out. And he said, ‘We can stay in Rocky and try this treatment, we’ll do a PET scan halfway through and if it’s not responding, you’re gonna have to go to Brisbane.’ So I just said, ‘Yep, we’ll give it a go in Rocky.’ So I think it was maybe two or three weeks later, I actually started chemo, straight up.

[00:17:22] Kate: And then before that, I know you had Baby Theo in your arms, but was there any talk of fertility preservation?

[00:17:28] Alysia: Yeah, he said he could send a referral to one of the fertility doctors to think about preserving my fertility. But he also said, ‘we don’t have a lot of time, and by the time you go through a cycle’ And my cycle hadn’t come back properly because I just had a baby not that long ago, and he kind of wasn’t really saying it, but it was sort of like, do you wanna get better for the baby you have, or do you wanna take some more time to potentially think about having another baby in the future? And at that point in time, I was just so adamant that I needed to watch little Theo grow up. I just thought, he’s not even one yet. I need to get better so that I can see him grow up. So it was quite an easy decision at that point. Alex and I both said, let’s just get this chemo going. I need to get better for Theo. So we didn’t actually do any fertility preservation at all.

[00:18:13] Kate: Wow. And then was there a sadness to that or were you just so focused on ‘Nope , I’m gonna be here for baby Theo.’

[00:18:21] Alysia: Yeah, at the time I was just so frightened that I wouldn’t get to watch him grow up, so I was like, ‘No, Theo’s all I need.’ I just wanna get better. That’s my number one priority is let’s get this chemo cracking. Let’s kill this cancer. So I didn’t think about it then, but as it went on and I knew that the chemo was working and I had time to calm down a little bit, and things slowed down. I thought, ‘Darn, I wish I actually took a minute to think about it because I had always wanted to have multiple children,’ and then I thought, ‘Well, I’ve lost my opportunity now.’ So I, I got a little bit upset about it, but I thought, I still just need to get better for Theo. If I have him, I’m very lucky to have had him before all of this happened anyway, so 

[00:18:58] Kate: Yeah. 

[00:18:58] Alysia: I just tried to focus on that.

[00:19:00] Kate: It’s a grief process, right? Like hindsight, you wish you knew, but then as you said, at that moment, you made the best decision for yourself and for your health and your family. 

[00:19:08] Alysia: Yeah, there just seemed to be, a quite a sense of urgency about getting started with treatment that they didn’t really want to delay it. And I just took that by the horns and I was like, we gotta get going. We gotta get this happening.

[00:19:20] Kate: So during that three week period, did you tell your friends or did you choose to keep that information to yourself?

[00:19:26] Alysia: I had to tell my work colleagues because they were expecting me back, and it was probably only a few days after I’d found out my manager was ringing me asking for a return to work date. 

[00:19:36] Kate: Oh.

[00:19:37] Alysia: So I had to call her and be like, actually, this is happening. And then she asked my permission to let the other girls know because I was quite good friends. So she did that hard job for me and I just didn’t really wanna tell anybody I still didn’t know how I felt and Alex said, ‘You really should have some friends.’ So he called a few of my best friends up and let them know what was going on and that I was gonna have a biopsy and surgery. And then when we found out about chemo, he kind of did all that hard work for me because I just said to him, ‘I dunno what to say to people.’ Like, how do you tell your friends when you’re 28 that you have blood cancer when you are perfectly healthy just a second ago? 

[00:19:26] Kate: Yeah.

[00:20:16] Alysia: So, Alex. Did that for me mostly, which I’m really thankful for because it was just too upsetting. I couldn’t say it out loud.

[00:20:19] Kate: Exactly. Maybe it was that your head, like as you said, how do you say it? But then how do you believe it? And when you say it out loud, it becomes a reality, doesn’t it?

[00:20:28] Alysia: Yeah. And until I started chemo, I didn’t feel sick. I felt perfectly fine. I was like, maybe they’re just wrong. Maybe it’s something else. But the radiographer in me knew it wasn’t wrong. They were my pictures. So yeah, I was perfectly fine until then.

[00:20:42] Kate: Yeah. And then how was the chemotherapy for you?

[00:20:45] Alysia: It wasn’t too bad. Like, I mean it, wasn’t great.

[00:20:47] Kate: Yeah.

[00:20:48] Alysia: But they would dose me up with plenty of medication beforehand. And I had chemo every second week, so on the chemo weeks, mum came and stayed for the whole week because I was pretty wrecked for a whole week. And I was going well to get out of bed, but then the second week I could manage pretty much to look after Theo on my own. I’d always count down to the end of the day when Alex would get home. But the first few cycles weren’t so bad, like I felt a little bit sick, but as it went on, it just got worse and worse. And I had some really horrendous bone pain. That was the worst symptom I felt like my bones were just on fire.

[00:21:22] Kate: Were you prepared for that? Had someone said, ‘Oh, you may have this.’

[00:21:26] Alysia: Not really. They talked about like the mouth ulcers and obviously the hair loss and everything, which I got all of that, so I was ready for it. But no one really talked about the bone pain. And I think part of it, from my understanding was coming from having injections to try and boost my immunity because there was nothing left of it. And then it was sort of a fine line between having enough of those injections so I didn’t get sick, but not having too many that I didn’t end up in crippling pain. So it was quite tricky towards the end because there was just nothing left of me, but I still had a baby, so I was gonna get germs.

[0021:58] Kate: Exactly. And with you being a healthcare professional too, did that, you know, obviously you’re not in depth in the world of what a doctor is, but you have somewhat of a medical knowledge. Did you try and find it hard to switch that side off your brain? Or did you just go, I’m just gonna surrender to my medical team?

[00:22:15] Alysia: I think it probably made it worse in some ways because some things that they wouldn’t tell me, I just read more into. But in other ways it’s probably good I didn’t have much of an idea about blood cancer, so I had to just put all of my trust in my doctor and the oncology team. Like if it was some other type of cancer, maybe I might have been a bit more worked up about it, but I didn’t know much about blood cancer, so I just kind of handed over the reins to them and said, ‘Fix me.’

[00:22:41] Kate: Yeah, and sometimes you’re right. That’s their role, that’s their job in your journey of this and as the passengers on your bus, they’re there to fix you and help guide you. So, and how is Alex, through this? You’ve mentioned he had to work obviously, ’cause you would’ve had, I imagine no sick leave coming off maternity leave. Guessing then no income protection. What did he do for work?

[00:23:00] Alysia: He actually had just come back in from the mines when Theo was born, luckily. So he wasn’t week on, week off anymore. So he was just doing day shifts. But he’s a man of few words. But I think it would’ve been really tough for him because he had to be the dad and the mum, and the carer, and the messenger to the friends. Like he just did everything. He never complained about it, and I’m so thankful that I had him.

[00:23:24] Kate: That would’ve been hard.

[00:23:25] Alysia: Yeah. And I just kept asking him, ‘Are you okay? Are you okay?’ He’s like, ‘Yep, I’ll be okay if you’re okay.’ That was always his response. So I think he’s happy that I’m back on board now. 

[00:23:25] Kate: Of course. Parenting is a hard journey, but but I’m sure he’s very thankful that his wife is in better health as well

[00:23:40] Alysia: Yeah, I think so. 

[00:23:41] Kate: Were you able to talk to him? Like if you felt it hard to talk to your friends, was he a person that you could connect with throughout this time?

[00:23:49] Alysia: Yeah, probably was only him and mum that I just truly let all the walls down like they saw me in the absolute worst. They saw me bawling my eyes out or complaining or laying on the floor because I just wanted some cold floorboards on me. And then I just tell them everything. I said to him multiple times, ‘I think I’m gonna die.’ And I said to him, ‘Make sure you move on after me.’ Like I talked about what’s gonna happen. And he said, ‘Stop talking like that. You’re gonna get better.’ And I said, ‘No, I don’t think I am.’ Like when I truly felt so awful. I said, ‘I’m not gonna get better. Make sure Theo knows who I am.’ Like he saw the absolute worst and he just kept on pushing through.

[00:24:24] Kate: Yeah. Can I say that’s so powerful that you’ve said that because so many people that I’ve sat in front of in my near 16 years of doing this, is people don’t let out those emotions or say, ‘I think I’m gonna die, and if I do this is what I want.’ Because everyone’s so frightened of the reaction from the other person. But it’s so important to say it. 

[00:24:43] Alysia: Yeah, 

[00:24:44] Kate: Once you’ve released it, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen. And I know that’s a fear, such an inbuilt fear, but it’s almost like writing the Will you say it, you write the Will, you put it away, and you don’t think about it, but you just need a release of it. You need to say those thoughts.

[00:25:02] Alysia: Yeah, and I thought if I didn’t wake up the next day and he didn’t know what I wanted to say, then I never got a chance to say it. So whenever I felt like I was a goner, I just said to him, this, this and this. And he knew exactly how I felt about things.

[00:25:14] Kate: Yeah, no sugarcoating it.

[00:25:16] Alysia: No.

[00:25:17] Kate: You’re already exhausted enough. You don’t need to hold up that armor.

[00:25:20] Alysia: No, that’s right.

[00:25:21] Kate: And so did you manage to stay out of hospital a lot, and be with Theo, or did you spend a lot of time in?

[00:25:27] Alysia: So the chemo sessions pretty much went all day. So those days I just stayed at the hospital during my infusion, which was fine. The nurses continually drilled me about being so immune compromised. They said, you can’t go out in public, you can’t go here, you can’t go there. Theo shouldn’t go to daycare. They were so adamant about it and I knew that they were saying important things, but I just thought, ‘Oh, can’t be that bad.” And it was getting close to Christmas, and I really, really wanted to take Theo to get a photo with Santa, like it was his first Christmas, and Alex said, ‘I’ll take him.’ I said, ‘No, I don’t wanna miss out.’ So we went to the shopping centre and lined up in the line and got the photo with Santa. We literally would’ve been there for a half hour and a few days later I wound up in hospital with some respiratory infection. And I stayed there for a whole week on an antibiotic drip because I had gone into the shopping centre. So that was the start of lots of hospital stays. I stayed there for a week and then it pretty much any time that I did a naughty thing and went out of the house, I would catch something and I’d end up in an emergency department with a temperature or having some fluids. You would think I would’ve learned my lesson, but there was just certain things that I didn’t wanna miss out on. Like it was Theo’s first ever Christmas, and I really wanted to go and get this Santa photo, and it costed me a week in hospital in isolation.

[00:25:27] Kate: How do you feel about it now though?

[00:26:44] Alysia: It was rough, but I’d probably still do it again because I got my photo of my little baby’s first Christmas. 

[00:26:46] Kate: Exactly, and that’s it, right? Like it’s… You absolutely need to take that medical advice and you need to be so awfully safe. But also at that time, it’s so important for mental health to do things. You know, of course with the safety and advice of your doctor, but where you can, you should, if it’s safe, but there is that risk at times. You’ve gotta say sometimes, it’s worth it because what if I’m not here.

[00:27:12] Alysia: Yeah, it’s easy to say now that I’d do it again because I got better. But those few days after I first got admitted to hospital, I said, ‘Oh, I wish I didn’t do that. What if this is what undoes me because I wanted a silly photo with Santa.’

[00:27:25] Kate: Hmm.

[00:27:26] Alysia: But I got better, so I’d  say I would do it again. 

[00:27:28] Kate: Yeah, yeah. And then how long did your treatment go for?

[00:27:32] Alysia: It was about six months all up, so I finished treatment the following year in about March I think it was.

[00:27:39] Kate: Yeah.  

[00:27:40] Alysia: It got a little delayed when I went to hospital, so I got pushed back a bit because I wasn’t well enough to keep getting my normal infusions 

[00:27:47] Kate: You said, I remember at the beginning, you said that they would do a halfway point to see how everything’s going, and then if things were going well, you would be able to stay in Rockhampton. Did you achieve that?

[00:27:57] Alysia: Yeah, I did thankfully. That was the most scary part. So I had a PET scan at the beginning and then I had one halfway to check that treatment was working and then obviously at the end. But that halfway one, I remember saying to him, ‘If this doesn’t work, do I have to really go?’ Yeah, to the doctor, I said, ‘Do I really have to go to Brisbane?’ I don’t like the city and I don’t wanna leave Theo. And he said, ‘There’s no other choice. You’ll have to do it.’ So I was terrified when we got those results, but thankfully it was working and I could continue doing the treatment plan that I had.

[00:28:28] Kate: How did you get through that scan anxiety and that weight?

[00:28:31] Alysia: I honestly don’t even remember. There’s such a blur, that whole treatment time. Obviously when you have to sit for ages waiting for the PET scan to go through, I just read a book, tried to keep distracted because if I sat there with my thoughts long enough, I would just unravel. So I just tried to do other activities to distract myself.

[00:28:49] Kate: Did you have anyone that you spoke to professionally or…?

[00:28:52] Alysia: Yeah, I did. I had a lovely counselor I saw when Theo was first born, I had a little bit of postnatal anxiety, so she was there for that. And then I’d gotten past that. And then when I rang her up again, she thought, ‘Oh, it’s odd to hear from you.’ And I said, ‘Oh, actually, I’ve got cancer this time.’ So I was seeing her regularly, which was really nice. It was just somebody neutral wasn’t…

[00:29:11] Kate: Mmhmm. 

[00:29:12] Alysia: …Anyone close to me, and I could just let it all out to her.

[00:29:15] Kate: Yeah. And how did you find that release was that important in your journey?

[00:29:18] Alysia: I think so, some sessions I would just sit there and cry, and cry and cry and not really say much at all. But I always felt better afterwards just to get it off my chest. I felt if I just kept things in for a week and didn’t tell anybody, or I didn’t have a chance to sit down with Alex, it was a nice way to just get it all out and start fresh for another week.

[00:29:37] Kate: Yeah, although it’s another appointment, it sounded beneficial.

[00:29:40] Alysia: Yeah, and I had knew her beforehand, so it wasn’t like I had to meet this new person. When I was going through the treatment, I had to meet a new nurse and a haematologist and lung… And all these different things, but at least my counselor was just this one person I already knew, and she had known my story until that point. So it was nice just to talk to somebody who knew me, but wasn’t close enough to get all emotional with me .

[00:30:03] Kate: Yeah, absolutely. So important to, you know, have some psychosocial help because it’s incredibly taxing, although physically as well, mentally, it’s such a huge thing to go through.

[00:30:14] Alysia: Yeah, and I didn’t wanna keep just being like, poor me. Why me? But that’s all I kept thinking. I was like, ‘Why did it have to happen now? Why did it have to happen when I had a little baby?’ Like, it’s not fair.

[00:30:25] Kate: No, it’s not. It’s not fair is it? That’s not how… Also to, I’m sure you envisioned your first year of motherhood.

[00:30:32] Alysia: Not at all. Like we had started 2022 in the best way, like we finally had a little baby and everything was going great, we were in our own home. I was about to go back to work, and then it just went more pear shaped than we ever could have imagined going.

[00:30:46] Kate: Yeah, and it’s, it is that sense of grief around what life that was.

[00:30:51] Alysia: Yeah, and it was just super isolating as well. Like I’d always been with friends and family. But the big majority of our friends were people who had little children in daycare, or my other friends were from work, so everybody was constantly surrounded by sick people so no one could visit us. So I couldn’t hang out with anybody very often. So it was, it was just awful, really. The whole thing was awful.

[00:31:14] Kate: Yeah. When you needed your village close to you, as you said, you couldn’t…

[00:31:17] Alysia: Yeah

[00:31:18] Kate: because it would be a risk.

[00:31:20] Alysia: Yeah. Like they could always call and text me, but it’s not the same as sitting down and having a coffee with somebody or just doing something normal. Like there was nothing normal about the whole situation.

[00:31:30] Kate: And I’m sure you know it is an assumption, but it’s something I hear from a lot of young people is, is that when you are then sitting in the treatment outpatient clinic, you are sometimes the youngest person there in the chair. 

[00:31:40] Alysia: Yeah that was actually one of the worst things. It’s quite a small oncology unit at the private hospital. And every single time I went, I don’t think that there was anybody else probably under the age of 50. They were all older people and I just felt so out of place. I know nobody deserves to be there, but I thought, this is no place for a young person. And Alex brought Theo a couple of times and we just got so many looks and I thought, we can’t bring a baby in here. These people just gonna stare at us. So I would just go there with a friend or mum would come sometimes. So yeah, I just felt so out of place.

[00:32:14] Kate: And I’m sure those looks weren’t a look of like, oh, you know, of negativity. It would’ve been a look of sadness like, right, this isn’t… That poor woman. It’s not fair that she’s here with that bubba.

[00:32:25] Alysia: Yeah, the similar thing would happen every week. I’d have to have a blood test, and obviously the weeks that mum wasn’t around, I would just take Theo with me. He became very well accustomed to sitting on my lap for blood tests and whatnot, and I would walk into the blood test place like… The rooms would be full of people and obviously have my little turban on. No eyebrows, no eyelashes, whiter than Casper the ghost, and I’m carrying this baby with me. And you just see people just looking at you feeling so sorry for you. I’m like, I feel sorry for myself enough. Like I just didn’t want people to look at me. But it’s not something that you see often in a regional area. Like you don’t often see young people carrying a baby who look like they’re on death’s door.

[00:33:04] Kate: Yeah. And how did you feel? You just described yourself. How was your self worth? You know, as a young woman, it’s… To lose your hair, your eyebrows, and your, your sense.

[00:33:13] Alysia: Yeah, that was the worst. Anytime someone asked me what the worst part of the whole thing was, it was the hair and the looks. Like I always had said to people, ‘It’s just hair. It’ll be fine.’ But then when it actually happened to me, it was so traumatising. I remember when my hair started to fall out, it was falling out in clumps and Theo was just starting to crawl, so he was getting hair everywhere. So I said to Alex, we’ll put him down for a nap. We’ll get this hair off. And like I just bawled my eyes because I thought when my baby wakes up from his nap, he’s not gonna know who I am because he is not gonna recognize me. Thankfully he didn’t care. He woke up from his nap and he touched my bald head and he was fine, and he never saw me any differently. Like he never treated me any differently. He still loved me the exact same, but it was so traumatising to not have hair and be so scared that my little baby wouldn’t know who I was. 

[00:34:03] Kate: Yeah.

[00:34:03] Alysia: I hated how I looked, but I also hated how I felt. So it was just part of it all. It eventually, it all grew back, which was fine.

[00:34:10] Kate: Yeah. You’ve got hair today and you’ve got beautiful eyebrows today.

[00:34:13] Alysia: Yeah, they’re very bushy now.

[00:34:15] Kate: But it’s just it’s your self-esteem, isn’t it? You know? And it impacts so many. It is such a cruel thing. It takes away from you. You know, it’s already your self-worth, your purpose, but then your self-esteem of then how you present yourself every day out in society. You know, you already have to be brave enough, but…

[00:34:15] Alysia: And I think until you look sick, nobody really knows. So you can get away with a lot of things and then all of a sudden you look sick and then everybody knows you can’t hide behind anything. You just have to be out there for the world to see you bald and..

[00:34:47] Kate: And not when you are your best, you know? And to have that attention when you are not feeling at your best. And it would be heavy, really heavy.

[00:34:55] Alysia: And even like hair doesn’t grow back overnight. So even afterwards when it was growing back and it was all sorts of crazy. I would go to birthday parties or bridal showers or even daycare events. And all the other mums and my other friends, they are doing their hair and makeup and here I am trying to draw eyebrows on and I had no hair to even brush.

[00:35:21] Kate: Yeah,

[00:35:22] Alysia: So it was a bit hard for things like that trying to feel like a young lady. When you don’t really look like one. 

[00:35:23] Kate: Yeah. 

[00:35:22] Alysia: That was the hardest part all of the losing the hair part.

[00:35:21] Kate: Yeah. And to be feminine, you know, in that energy, and as you say, like all your girlfriends and whatnot, they’re off doing their hair. And you’re right it doesn’t grow back long and luscious. It goes through a stage short, spiky, duck fluff to then chemo curls. I don’t know if you got chemo curls, but it’s…

[00:35:42] Alysia: Yeah. There was one particular day, actually it was down at the beach we’re at a friend’s birthday and all the girls are lining up in the mirror doing their hair and makeup. And obviously, I didn’t have much hair to do, so I did my makeup and then I was just standing there and they’re all still getting ready and I thought, what am I gonna do now? And I rang mum and I was just crying. I was like, ‘Mom, I don’t have anything to do. I don’t fit in with the girls.’ And she was like, ‘They don’t see you any different.’ I said, ‘I look so ugly.’ That’s all I used to say to mum. I’m like, ‘I’m so ugly.’ And she said, ‘Stop saying that you’re been sick.’

[00:36:10] Kate: Yeah. 

[00:36:12] Alysia: There was just a constant battle. But thankfully my mum had, well, not thankfully, but she had been through that. Just a few years prior, so she knew exactly how I felt and I always felt safe talking to her about that.

[00:36:21] Kate: Yeah, because it, it is, it’s how you felt. You are not, you know, the people with love and you think of your baby, who looks at you, who touched your head, and it’s just pure love and heart to heart. Like that’s the connection. And that’s how we are judged, is on our heart, not our looks. But it is hard when that is what you present to the outward universe.

[00:36:43] Alysia: Yeah.

[00:36:44] Kate: Any moment we walk out of our front door or even within our homes to our husbands and, wives and partners, 

[00:36:50] Alysia: You’re exactly right.

[00:36:51] Kate: Yeah. And then I know that you finished treatment and then how was that post treatment?

[00:36:59] Alysia: It’s actually a very interesting time finishing treatment. So, six weeks after I finished chemo, I had my final PET scan. And we got the really good news that I was in remission, so it was super exciting. Like that was the goal all along was just to get better. But then everything sort of stops. People stop checking in and stop dropping off food and you don’t go to the doctor every single week. Like I still now have regular blood test, but there was so many people looking out for me constantly. I didn’t have to think about myself, and then all of a sudden everything stops and I actually had to think about taking care of myself. Because nobody was around anymore, so it was a really interesting time. Obviously, so happy that I was in remission. But it’s a really difficult time to navigate knowing how to fit back into the world because my world had stopped. But everybody else has just kept going, and I didn’t know where I fit in anymore or what I should do. Like It was a tricky time, but slowly it got easier.

[00:37:54] Kate: And how do you think it got easier?

[00:37:54] Alysia: I think I was just able to go out more, join in a bit more. Just wanted to do the mundane things like cook dinner or vacuum the floor and bit by bit, I got my energy back and just became more normal.

[00:38:09] Kate: Mm. And is that, was that the key bit by bit? Like, I envision you couldn’t have gone out and cleaned the house, gone do the shop, gone do the cooking, and looked after Baby Theo all at the same time. So was it a building process rather than all in?

[00:38:23] Alysia: Yeah, definitely. Like I said, hair doesn’t grow back overnight. Your energy doesn’t come back overnight. My immune system certainly did not come back overnight. Like I still had to be quite careful for a long period after, and as I just felt better, I would do more things or once I had a bit more hair, I agreed to go out and have coffee out in public. And every time I did something for the first time again, it was quite scary. But then once I’d done it. It was fine. So once I was good with one thing, then I moved on to the next thing. It was just a process of re-adding very normal things back into my everyday life.

[00:38:56] Kate: So true. It’s…, I love that. You know, as you say, I did it. I was worried, but I did it and nothing fell off. The wheels burning all. Everything kept spinning.

[00:39:05] Alysia: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It was just a process. 

[00:39:08] Kate: Yeah. did you lose trust in your body?

[00:39:10] Alysia: I did. I felt like my body let me down. I was ripped off by it. I had done everything right. I never smoked, barely drunk, never done drugs, always stayed relatively fit and healthy. I’d run a half marathon a few years before I was sick and I was like, I did all these good things and then it still wouldn’t let me down. So I’d still have trouble trusting my body now I’m like, I’m giving you all the things you want and you still backfired on me. So…

[00:39:35] Kate: Yep. 

[00:39:35] Alysia: Yeah, for a long time I was like, this body, it just needs to get chucked in the bin because it won’t behave. But it’s done a lot of good things since, so I’m starting to trust it.

[00:39:10] Kate: Yeah, it has. And what are those good things that it’s done?

[00:39:50] Alysia: So probably maybe a year, 18 months after I’d finished chemo, I was actually having a lot of symptoms of menopause. And it’s one of the things that could happen to you after chemo, you might go into early menopause, and I was having a bunch of tests.

[00:40:01] Kate: Had you lost your period?

[00:40:03] Alysia: Yeah, it never came during my treatment and it took a really long time to come back. And then when it did, it was very hit and miss. Not normal by any means. I was having hot flushes, I was very fatigued. So there’s all these random things and they thought ‘we’ll run a few tests and be sure’. And then the next minute you know, I actually found out that I was pregnant again.

[00:40:21] Kate: That was not what you would be expecting post treatment 

[00:40:27] Alysia: No. Mm-hmm. I was told there was a very, very high chance we would not have any more children, especially if we didn’t do fertility preservation. And then magically, by the grace of God, we naturally fell pregnant.

[00:40:39] Kate: And how were you feeling in that moment?

[00:40:42] Alysia: For a minute, I thought it’s gotta be too good to be true. But then I’m like, it’s happened, so if it’s happened, it’s possible. And then I just tried to enjoy it and there’s not that much to enjoy about the early pregnancy stages when you don’t feel that great. But I was just shocked, I think. Mostly I thought, this isn’t something that should happen and it’s happened.

[00:40:59] Kate: I should ask, was Alex there when you found out that you were pregnant, or did you have to call him and say. 

[00:41:05] Alysia: I had to ring him. He was at work and I was like, you’re not gonna believe this, ‘I have just peed on a stick’. And he is like, ‘no way’. I am like, ‘yes way’. This has happened. He’s like, ‘but I thought you might’ve been going in menopause’. And I was like, ‘not today’. But then until I had that first scan, I didn’t really believe it. I was like, oh, maybe my body’s playing games with me again. And then when we saw that tiny little blob on the first scan, I was like, this is really happening here. Having a little miracle baby.

[00:41:30] Kate: Having a little miracle baby. And as you said before, your body had failed you, as you said, to becoming ill . But then your body did some really beautiful things after having cancer and having treatment.

[00:41:30] Alysia: Yeah, and it grew us a little baby, little baby Charlie. He was born at the start of this year and he’s just the best little thing ever. We love him so much.

[00:41:53] Kate: Aw, I’m sure you do. And little Charlie…, And how was that pregnancy? I know you said you tried to enjoy it as much as you can, but was your haematologist involved? Were you nervous of what could this mean post…?

[00:42:05] Alysia: My haematologist was involved right from the start. It was interesting that my haematologist and my obstetrician were actually side by side in the medical suite, so I was always visiting. Yeah , I was always visiting one of them each week. So…, 

[00:42:16] Kate: Oh, yeah. 

[00:42:18] Alysia: That was simple, but, he was pretty happy for me to just, to continue like a normal pregnant person. But there was just the few things like if I needed a blood transfusion, I needed to have, irradiated blood or just to watch my iron levels. And he continually just did his blood test checks and my obstetrician was aware of my history just to be sure. But it went as smooth as a normal pregnancy could go. So I was very lucky.

[00:42:41] Kate: Yeah. And did you have a natural or vaginal birth?

[00:42:44] Alysia: All natural birth and Charlie came out all healthy and there was this beautiful moment on probably the the third night that I was in hospital. One of my oncology nurses actually does one day a week as… in the maternity ward and she had seen Alex when he was on his way out. And she came and found me and she was sitting on my hospital bed cuddling little baby Charlie. And it was just such a full circle moment. The last time I sat with her, she was holding my hand while I was having chemo, and then here she’s almost two years later to the day, sitting on the end of my hospital bed with my little miracle baby that we shouldn’t have been able to have. It was just the most beautiful moment, just her and I and Charlie in the nighttime sitting there and she was just cuddling him like it was just beautiful. It was so lovely.

[00:43:27] Kate: What a moment to have, and I think like as you said, you had moments two years before that. And I guess it’s a really lovely reminder how life can change. That you had moments two years before when you were on the floor saying, ‘I think I’m gonna die’ and saying, ‘if I die, you need to move on and Theo needs to know who I am.’ And then fast forward to years later, you are in the hospital bed holding your new Bubba. What a turn of events.

[00:43:51] Alysia: I know, and Charlie was literally born like two days short of my two year anniversary of ringing the bell. So, the way the world works is crazy. I think his actual due date was the day, two years before that, I’d rung the bell, but he came a couple of days before he was admitted to.

[00:44:08] Kate: Oh wow, he’s come just… at every point when he’s meant to. And remind me how old is Baby Charlie now?

[00:44:13] Alysia: So he has just gone eight months old, which is, he’s the age now that Theo was when all of this started. So, yeah, it’s a bit of a surreal moment because this whole time of Theo’s age, I don’t have a huge memory of what happened. All the teething and the crawling and all the first things, they’re a bit of a blur and I get to enjoy them properly now.

[00:44:35] Kate: Yeah

[00:44:35] Alysia: And I’m constantly aware that this is like my chance to redo what I… had taken away from me a few years ago. So it’s nice, but at the same time, it’s a little bit sad too because Charlie will do something and I think, did I see Theo do that? I don’t think so. Maybe mum or Alex saw that happen because I was too unwell.

[00:44:53] Kate: Well, has it been triggering?

[00:44:53] Alysia: A little bit. Yes. Yeah, so even the postpartum hair that you get, little hair growth out the side. I never got that with Theo because I’ve lost my hair. So I’m getting all these little sprouts now that Charlie’s eight months old, and I’m thinking, I didn’t go through this with Theo. And then it brings back the whole, well, I lost my hair and I was a bald person with my little baby. So every little milestone that Charlie goes through, I get so excited for him. But it’s also a bit of a stab in the chest because they’re milestones that I missed out on with Theo a lot of the time.

[00:45:25] Kate: It’s grief and loss, isn’t it? And that’s the thing. You can hold two emotions all at the very same time. Beautiful joys of happiness and then pangs of sadness. 

[00:45:34] Alysia: Yeah.

[00:45:34] Kate: Oh, that’s what I missed out on.

[00:45:36] Alysia: Yeah.

[00:45:36] Kate: Mm. And do you then, do you have regular checks? Do you think, ‘Okay, this is eight months, this is when my body went awry’? Like, have you gone to your doctor and gone, ‘I just need another check just to make sure that everything’s okay’. Or have you just like, ‘Nope, just gonna trust.’

[00:45:51] Alysia: When Charlie was I think a month old , I had my last check and The doctor said we can move to six monthly checks now. And I was like, are you sure? Because I’ve just had a baby and the last time I had a baby, this is what happened. And he was like, ‘This time’s different.’ There’s no reason for it to happen again. I was like, ‘I’m happy to keep coming every three months.’ He said, ‘No, you’re fine now, you’ve passed the two year mark. Just come every six months.’ So there are times when I think oh, I like I might feel something or a cold hangs around for longer than I anticipate it was gonna hang around for. And I think, ‘Oh, geez, I need to go and get checked.’ But I just try and brush it off because I know I am still getting checked as often as I need to.

[00:46:28] Kate: And it is right, like your body will take longer to recover, your immunity isn’t what it once was before it became unwell. And chemotherapy is a lot. So you’ve actually been through a lot. And then you went through a pregnancy, you grew a human and that in itself drains women’s bodies like no one can believe, and now you are running after two babies.

[00:46:49] Alysia: Yes, they are definitely keeping me on my toes.

[00:46:52] Kate: And then how is Theo, does he understand that mummy was unwell or I know he was very so young, but has that been a part of your, I guess, parenting?

[00:47:01] Alysia: Pretty much Theo’s entire life has been dragged around to appointments and in and out of hospitals. He is the most sensitive little fella, like anything that happens to us. If I bang my toe and I go ‘ouchies’, he’s always the first to be like, ‘mum, are you okay?’ And even still, when I go and have blood tests, he will sit with me. He knows what’s going on, age appropriately. He knows that I was unwell and when we go for haematologist appointments, they’re always days he’s home and he comes with, and he knows the doctor because he sees him so regularly. And I think we just say to him, ‘oh, we just have to check that mummy’s not sick’. And he just knows it like that. He doesn’t know much more about it, but because it’s just constantly being, since he was little, I don’t think he knows any better. It’s normal to him.

[00:47:44] Kate: Yeah.

[00:47:45] Alysia: I can still run around with him and play. I don’t think he remembers the part from when I was too unwell to play with him.

[00:47:51] Kate: Mm. And what about you and Alex, you know, as you got better, I envision the role that he needed to play of carer would’ve become less, and then the role of husband, and then you were having another baby again, so another adjustment. How has that been for you guys?

[00:48:05] Alysia: I think that as awful as the whole journey was, it’s actually made us so much stronger. Like we had only been married for a couple of years when it all happened, and we don’t argue over anything that’s tiny. We never go to bed angry. If there’s something that’s on one of our minds, we just talk about it because we’ve been through the worst thing that can happen. And we just know that we have to just be honest with each other and talk about things. And there’s no point in getting angry about something because there’s far worse things that can happen. So I think it’s just made us so much stronger. We are very open with each other and I’m just so grateful. I think I’ll be so forever grateful for him for stepping up the way he did, and he’s probably grateful that I am helping with the load now.

[00:48:46] Kate: Yeah, and too, it’s just to know that you are there. And to know that, at this very moment you’re here, you’re well, you are living and mothering your two children, and I’m sure that’s just his biggest blessing as well.

[00:48:59] Alysia: Yeah, I think so. He often tells me, he said, ’I’ll do it all again if you got better.’ He said, ‘It doesn’t matter how hard it was at the time. We just needed you to be better.’

[00:49:06] Kate: Yeah. 

[00:49:06] Alysia: He’s lovely. I hit the jackpot there.

[00:49:08] Kate: You did. You did. And how about your mum? You know, you said she was an absolute stellar strength through your entire journey, but she walked a similar path, you know, although different, but similar. But then, to see her baby unwell, how was that for you and her?

[00:49:08] Alysia: Yeah, we probably became more like friends than mother and daughter. Like my mom and dad are just the best people on the planet. They will just give and give and give. And I remember Dad said to me, ‘Whatever it takes, we will get it for you to get you better. We did it with mum, we’ll do it with you.’ Anything that Alex and I needed, they were there. Like Dad would take on all of the jobs at home so mum could come and stay with us. And then I just felt so comfortable with mum that she saw me at my worst. She helped clean where the drains were. She had washed my hair when I couldn’t, before my hair fell out.

[00:49:53] Kate: Mmm.

[00:49:54] Alysia: You know, she was being a mum when she was meant to be a grandma. She was taking care of a baby for me, and I’m just so, so grateful that they pretty much put their life on hold for about a year just to make sure I got better and we still have the best relationship now. We have always been close, but they’re just always there. They always check in. We talk every single day. They’re just like my best friends in the whole world, mum, dad, and Alex. They just really are the best.

[00:50:20] Kate: You know, it’s so beautiful to have that support around you. ’cause it makes a world of difference. And I know that that’s not everybody’s story, but to have people that you can solidly rely on, and that sounds like what your dad and your mum and Alex were for you, is that they were your foundations and your support when everything around you was wobbly.

[00:50:39] Alysia: Yeah, they just kept the whole world going. I’m very lucky that I had all of them.

[00:50:43] Kate: Oh, well I can’t thank you enough. And you know, we are near on talking for an hour. You have shared some really raw and really tough moments. But I think also really beautiful moments for our listeners to hear and relate to because as you said, you’ve sat in that space and you’ve felt so alone and isolated throughout the journey of blood cancer. And that’s what this podcast is. It’s here to fill that space and help people feel connected and as we always do, at the end of each episode, we ask our guest if there is any golden nuggets that they would wish to share with our listeners. Now, there’s no pressure, but if you had anything of words of wisdom that you would wanna sign off this podcast episode, now’s the time.

[00:51:28] Alysia: I think just if anybody’s in this position, let their hand be held. If people want to help in any way they can, just let them. You don’t have to do everything yourself. There’s so many people that you probably wouldn’t expect that will wanna help you. Even the smallest way of dropping off some food for your baby. It’s one less task that you have to do. And if there is anybody that is unfortunately in the position where they also have a little baby or young kids at home, I think I have found that little children are so resilient and they’re not gonna see you any differently. They still will love you just the same, if not more. And just to try not to be scared that they’re not gonna know who you are.

[00:52:04] Kate: Mm-hmm. 

[00:52:05] Alysia: Spend as much time as you can with them because they don’t see you any different. You’re still their mum or their dad at the end of the day.

[00:52:10] Kate: Absolutely. And it sounds like they also too, were your North Star throughout this. Your goal and your purpose was to be here to see Baby Theo grow, but you didn’t know that you would also be seeing watching Baby Charlie Grow

[00:52:24] Alysia: Yeah. I often tell people that Theo is the one that got me through it, and Charlie seems to have healed the last little bits that were broken inside me. So the two boys, they’re just the best.

[00:52:35] Kate: Aww, what a beautiful way to end this episode. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story and to thank your family and holding space for you and to baby Charlie and healing those last little bits. That is beautiful. For now, I wish you nothing but wealth and good health, for the time ahead, but also fun as a family for you to enjoy.

[00:52:54] Alysia: Thank you so much.[00:52:56] Kate: My pleasure.