The challenges of parenting become more complex for a parent who is diagnosed with cancer. Caring for children with the physical and emotional distress of cancer and treatment is difficult. There is often lots of worrying about how it affects their children. And how it impacts their ability to be a parent.
Parents with cancer often experience psychological distress. Many feel a burden to loved ones and worry about the impact on children. They try to maximise time with children and make it meaningful.
Many parents need:
- Guidance on effective communication – delivered in a convenient way like by telephone.
- Resources to help children understand the illness – for the appropriate age level.
- Strategies to maintain a sense of stability – everyday or new routines, non-illness conversations.
- Possible ways to use the situation for life knowledge.
Family and children support for coping with a cancer diagnosis
The Cancer Council booklet Talking to Kids About Cancer focuses on when a parent has cancer. It has some great information to guide conversations about cancer.
Accurate and age-appropriate information:
- Clear, easy-to-understand, and up-to-date information about diagnosis.
- Honest and simple explanations for children and teenagers.
- Information on how the illness may affect the child’s daily life and future.
Encourage open communication:
- Open and honest conversations with your child.
- Support for explaining the diagnosis in a way children can understand.
- Create a safe space for children to ask questions and share their feelings.
- Reduce confusion and fear by answering children’s questions.
Daily routine adjustments:
- Keeping a consistent schedule for school, meals, and sport/play.
- Creating new routines – small, predictable routines.
Role changes in the family:
- Talking about family role changes.
- Share responsibilities fairly.
- Write a list of tasks.
- Accept support from friends, relatives, or home care services.
Emotional challenges and mental health support:
- Offer simple ways for children to talk about their emotions – conversations, play, or drawing.
- Contact support groups and/or counselling.
- Family counselling.
- Peer support groups for children.
- Group activities that help children express their feelings.
Social connections and peer support:
- Encourage children to spend time with friends or join support groups.
- For teenagers, connecting with peers who have similar experiences can be particularly valuable.
Simple and effective coping strategies:
Help children and teens develop healthy coping strategies, this may include:
- Finding fun distractions like games, music, or hobbies.
- Spending quality time with parents.
- Helping with small tasks to feel involved.
- Talking to friends or a trusted adult.
Find simple, age-appropriate ways for children to understand the situation, share their thoughts, and find positive ways to cope. These steps can help build resilience and feel more secure.
Leukaemia Foundation Healthcare Professionals can provide support on 1800 620 420 or Information and support service referral – Leukaemia Foundation
Resources:
- Talking to Kids About Cancer [PDF]
- Dealing with emotions when a parent has been diagnosed with cancer | Canteen Australia
- When Mitzy the Foggle got cancer | Cancer Council [Youtube]
- Fruitfly Collective
- Family and relationships | Cancer Australia
- Talking to children and teenagers about cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
Support:
- Cancer Hub | Support Services for Families Facing Cancer
- If Your Mum or Dad Has Cancer We Can Support You | Canteen Australia
- My Parent Has Cancer: What cancer support services are available to me? | Canteen Australia
- Coordinate support, strengthen community | Gather My Crew
- Camp Quality | Helping Kids 0-15 Facing Cancer
Treatment information for patients and families:
- Cancer patient information sheets | eviQ
- Chemotherapy safety at home | eviQ
- Introduction to radiation therapy | eviQ
- Introduction to chemotherapy | eviQ
- Hair loss during chemotherapy | eviQ
- Infection during cancer treatment | eviQ
- Feeling tired (fatigue) during cancer treatment | eviQ
- Nausea and vomiting during cancer treatment | eviQ
- Mouth problems during cancer treatment | eviQ
- Memory changes and chemotherapy (chemo brain) | eviQ
- Managing the side effects of anti-cancer medicines | eviQ
Tools:
References
- Cancer parents’ experiences of parenting concerns about minor children: A meta-synthesis of qualitative studies – ScienceDirect
- Communication patterns in families affected by parental cancer from the healthy parents’ perspective—process evaluation of the complex intervention Family-SCOUT | Supportive Care in Cancer
- Effectiveness of a comprehensive support program for families with parental cancer (Family-SCOUT): results of a multicenter non-randomized controlled trial – PMC
- Impact of Parental Cancer on Children | Anticancer Research
- Implementation of family psychosocial risk assessment in pediatric cancer with the Psychosocial Assessment Tool (PAT): study protocol for a cluster-randomized comparative effectiveness trial | Implementation Science
- Psychosocial interventions targeting parenting distress among parents with cancer – A systematic review and narrative synthesis of available interventions – ScienceDirect
